I first got into self-improvement in my early 20s, the story of how I got to it is long and full of plot twists, but the short version might sound painfully familiar: I had just gone through a breakup. To be more specific, it was my first serious relationship and we’d been together for a bit over four years. When you’re 21, that’s basically all of your adult life and naturally, after the breakup I was a bit dazed and I didn’t quite know who I was outside of that relationship.

Naturally, I started trying new things.

The YouTube algorithm probably noticed, because I soon stumbled into a self-improvement video, and then another, and another. Before I realized what was happening, I had become a full-blown self-improvement goblin. I wasn’t just consuming the content, I was VIGOROUSLY applying the advice. And honestly? It was a very positive change for me.

For context, this was a period of big transitions. I’d just landed my first job out of school, moved into my first apartment that I actually paid for, and bought a car. I’d been in Canada since I was 18, but this was the first time I wasn’t scrambling just to survive. I suddenly had freedom to do things I’d never really been able to do before. And it felt great.

I started with the fundamentals: exercise, self-development and habit building.

At the time, I had a healthy weight but was extremely unfit. I’d never worked out, and the moment I found myself out of breath just walking up a hill, I knew something had to change if I had any pretensions of aging gracefully. I started running because it had the lowest possible barrier to entry. I got lucky and began in the summer, and by fall, I was running my first half marathon. Lifting came later, and I slowly built some muscle tone (though I didn’t really see it back then until I saw the comparison pictures).

I picked up hobbies too. I’d been a huge reader as a child, and rediscovering that as an adult was delightful. I started reading again, joined language classes, and became more well-rounded because of it. These days I like to hate on Duolingo but it did admittedly help.

Then came productivity.

Do more. Do it better. Do it faster.

And for me, that’s where things started to go sideways.

Productivity advice can be great for optimizing certain aspects of life, but I took it too far, it was almost obsessive. I became a hyper-efficient slave to my own super optimized systems. I started skimming shows just to get to “the good parts,” which in hindsight was horrible advice since I was missing out on the cinematography and art direction. Then, instead of enjoying books, I was constantly checking how many pages I had left so I could stay on track for my 52-books-a-year goal. Exercise too stopped being something I enjoyed and became something I tried to compress into the smallest possible time slot. I wasn’t even present anymore, I was just completing tasks which would be okay if I had more important things to do later, but I didn’t.

Still, looking back, this phase was a net positive. I rediscovered passions, tried new things, learned a lot, got healthier, and overall grew as a person. But I also got a bit burnt out.

About a year and a half after my breakup, I decided I wanted to date again, I just felt ready, so why not? The two years after that were greatly devoted to growing my relationship, and self-care (because sometimes life gets on the way of your plans). Towards the end of 2025 I felt like I was in a good place to get back into self-improvement so just like I’d done a few years back, I looked up the same Youtube channels I used to watch.

And then it hit me.

All the wisdom these gurus were sharing was exactly the same as it had been years ago. The problem wasn’t the advice itself (after all, it worked for me in the past), the problem was me. I wasn’t the same person anymore.

I noticed something I hadn’t before, a lot of this content has a very paternal tone, like a father telling their kids to step up. And again, that worked for me in my early 20s. Being told what to do pushed me into uncomfortable but necessary changes that genuinely improved my life. This time around, though, it completely missed the mark.

I tried to look at the advice and see what I could use, but I kept thinking “this won’t work anymore,” see:

• Exercise: I’m already quite fit and very active. I’ve been consistently working out for years
• Diet: I love cooking and regularly make healthy meals. I’m a foodie and I don’t eat a lot of junk food.
• Hobbies: LOTS of them, reading, drawing, gaming, climbing…to name a few.
• Job: While I’m not rich, I’m happy with my job and I have a great work/life balance I wouldn’t trade for anything
• Money: I’m not money motivated at all, but I save and invest every month
• Sleep: I generally sleep well, no issues there
• Friends: I have a nice social life, I try out activities with friends often and have fun
• Relationships: I’m in a happy, stable relationship that I actively work on.
  

I’m not saying this to brag. I’m saying it because so much self-improvement advice boils down to “get in shape, eat healthy, have hobbies, make money, have friends.” And that’s great, but what happens when you already have all of that?

Sure, I could always make more money. But why? I already earn enough to enjoy life, travel, and save for retirement. The house is paid off. I like my job and want to keep doing it. I’m not interested in retiring early if it comes at the expense of my current quality of life.

It almost feels like a taboo to say this, but I’m genuinely happy. I’m not complacent either, I still want to improve, learn new skills, read more, and be a little better every day. But that also means I’m no longer the target audience for most self-improvement content.

So what does this mean?

I’ve reached a point where self-improvement isn’t about fixing problems or correcting bad habits anymore. It feels more about depth and meaning. Maybe that looks like getting really good at one hobby. Maybe it’s reading more complex books. Maybe it’s experimenting with new drawing techniques.

Maybe it’s using what I’ve learned to help other people. So please buy my course on how to… just kidding. I’m not selling you anything (especially not a self-improvement guru course full of advice you can find for free. Seriously, what is up with those?).

The point is this: self-improvement content is fantastic at getting people from struggling to stable. I know, because it worked for me when I needed it. But there’s a massive gap in content for what comes after that.

To put it in video game terms, I feel like I’ve completed the main quest. All that’s left are side quests. The problem is, I don’t yet know what those side quests look like in my life.

So, what happens after you’ve already “done everything right”? Where do I go from there?